


Yellow and Red

by MysteriousFigure



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Blood, Both of them, Coughing, Disasters, Flowers, Hanahaki Disease, I Tried, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Mutual Pining, Roses, claurenz, other characters mentioned in passing but who really cares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:47:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21827704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MysteriousFigure/pseuds/MysteriousFigure
Summary: If Lorenz remembered correctly, yellow roses were a symbol of joy and of friendship. However the meaning changed a little when you took into account the source.Lorenz’s lungs.
Relationships: Lorenz Hellman Gloucester/Claude von Riegan
Comments: 11
Kudos: 147





	Yellow and Red

At first, the petals were yellow.

It wasn’t hard for Lorenz to identify what type of flower the petals would have come from.    
  


After all, he was intimately familiar with them.

_ A rose. _

Or maybe several. He couldn’t be sure.

And, if Lorenz remembered correctly, yellow roses were a symbol of joy and of friendship. However the meaning changed a little when you took into account the source. 

Lorenz’s lungs.    
  


He has had an annoying cough for several weeks now, seemingly harmless in nature, but Lorenz had suspected something unnatural all along. After all, he could pinpoint exactly when the cough started.   
  
Strategy meetings usually meant two things. Claude staying up for nights on end the days before plotting, and Lorenz trying to poke as many holes as possible in whatever hair-brained and sleep deprived scheme Claude managed to come up with. The cough appeared after one such meeting. Lorenz had stayed behind to help Claude gather all the maps, missives, and other documents that were currently haphazardly spread across the war room table. After collecting them all and piling them into Claude’s arms because he insisted he could carry them himself, he turned to Lorenz. Claude was always good at putting up a farce, but Lorenz could tell he was exhausted. The moonlight drifted through the window, illuminating Claude like he was something ethereal and holy. He smiled at Lorenz, tired eyes crinkled at the edges.

“Thank you Lorenz.”   
  
And somehow, with those three words, Lorenz knew he was hopelessly in love, even if his feelings had been growing fonder towards Claude for a while. And that’s when the first cough erupted from his lungs, leaving a slightly floral taste coating his throat. 

Lorenz had heard of hanahaki disease before, admittedly in the context of tragic romance novels, but he knew of it nonetheless. He held the yellow petals in his hand and laughed. Though Claude had certainly come to consider him an ally that he could trust, there was no way Claude thought of him in they way Lorenz wished him to. Lorenz’s very existence was in direct opposition to Claude’s. Lorenz was all pomp and circumstance, while Claude was anything but. When taking into account the horrendous way Lorenz had treated Claude in their school days, well, there was bound to be some leftover resentment, Lorenz certainly wouldn’t blame him if he had any. And Lorenz was sure that sweet Claude, lovely Claude, Claude in all his beautiful contrary nature, would never find happiness with someone like him. 

Besides, Claude’s trust and friendship was already more than he deserved anyways.

Lorenz knelt on the floor in his old dorm room, petals clutched in his fist and mirthlessly laughed. Laughed at the irony of his eventual death during the war, but not on the battlefield. 

❦

There were two things Lorenz learned soon after. One: Avoiding Claude was a difficult task. Lorenz had never expected it to be easy,but he was caught off guard at just  _ how hard  _ it actually was. Everywhere he turned, Claude seemed to be there. Everytime he caught a glimpse of Claude’s windswept hair or saw a flash of a yellow cape in the corner of his eye, he would hack out large, ugly coughs and a few petals he had to discreetly slip into his pocket. The second thing he learned was this: Coughing was painful, but not in the way it was when you were sick. Lorenz could feel the prick of thorns against his lungs and windpipe, thankfully never piercing his lungs, but painful all the same.

Today was one of his luckier days. Claude was holed up in the library for the foreseeable future and thus had granted Lorenz a much needed reprieve from violent coughs and a vigilant eye. Lorenz happily melted into his old routine. He had breakfast without coughing, trained without coughing, took his tea and strolled around the gardens without coughing. He was even able to get some of the more weighty paperwork he had laying on his desk completed. There was still a constant pinching in his lungs, but it was the easiest he had breathed in a long while.That day, he even decided to indulge himself by taking an evening ride. It was not long after Lorenz had returned to the stables, the sun’s last rays bursting orange over the hilltops against a deep blue sky, that disaster struck.

“Lorenz! I knew I’d find you here!” Claude stood near the entrance of the stables, his lean, archer’s form outlined by the setting sun. His slight chocolatey curls glistened bronze as the last rays of evening danced through them. Claude had a look on his face, a certain glint in those pine-green eyes that came on everytime a plan of his worked out. But perhaps the thing that was throwing Lorenz off the most was just how  _ casually _ Claude was dressed. Just black pants tucked into well-worn leather boots and a white shirt with the sleeves rolled and pushed up past his elbows. And, if Claude’s bare forearms hadn’t already frustrated Lorenz enough the top couple of buttons from Claude’s collar were unbuttoned, dark chest hair peaked its way out from underneath.

_ By the Goddess, the man is practically naked. _   
  
He could feel the cough threatening to make it’s way past his throat. Using most, if not all his willpower, he stifled it. Quickly grabbing a curry comb he started to brush down his horse, putting a bit of distance between him and Claude.    
  
“And how did you know that exactly?,” Lorenz retorted, though it was a bit weaker than usual. He barely had any breath from forcing down his cough. Lorenz didn’t know why he was even entertaining the idea of a conversation with Claude. Claude crossed over and patted the horse on the nose.

“Process of elimination.,” Claude replied somewhat vaguely. Ah, yes. It was because Claude’s voice was as soft on his ears as a ballad. It was as musical as one too. He could feel thorns press against his lungs and the taste of rose on his tongue. “But anyways,” Claude continued in that infuriatingly beautiful voice of his. “That’s not what I came here to talk to you about.”

“And-,” Lorenz tried to inhale. To get some air, any air to breathe. “And what did you come here to talk about?” Claude hardly changed expressions, but there was a slight furrow in his brow, a single crease that did not go unnoticed by Lorenz. He also noticed a flash of..something in Claude’s eyes.  _ Concern? No it couldn- _ _  
_   
Lorenz’s thoughts were cut off by doubling over in a violent coughing fit. 

“Lorenz?! Lorenz!” Claude’s voice barely cut through the sound of wet, heavy coughs and the sharp intakes of breath Lorenz took whenever he had a slight reprieve. Lorenz could feel the petals push their way up his sarcophagus. He was vaguely aware of Claude’s arms draped over his shoulders in an effort to support him. Lorenz clasped his hand over his mouth. Claude could not see the petals. He already had enough to worry about in regards to the war and leading the Alliance. Lorenz didn’t need to insert himself onto that list of worries.    
  
With one more forceful cough Lorenz felt the petals fall into his hand. He immediately clutched his hand into a fist, not sparing a glance. Lorenz took deep breaths, slowly returning his breathing to some semblance of normal. All the while, Claude rubbed comforting circles onto his back. After a moment Claude slung one of Lorenz’s arms over his shoulders. Lorenz’s breath shuddered at the contact. 

“C’mon, Lorenz. Let’s get you to the infirmary.” Lorenz ripped his body away.   
  
“Absolutely not!,” He said, perhaps harsher than he intended. Claude was extremely skilled at schooling his feature but Lorenz caught the shadow of a wince on his face and immediately regretted being so snappish. He continued in a quieter, softer tone. “I’m fine now. There’s no need for that.” The petals rested unusually heavy in his fist. Lorenz took a half-step back. 

“Lorenz…,” Claude took a step forwards. “Every time I’ve seen you lately you’ve been coughing. Not to mention the fact that you’ve obviously been avoiding me.” He took another step forward careful, slow, and deliberate, as if he were trying to not frighten off a wild animal. “There’s no shame in catching sick every once in a while, but your work requires you to be at your best.  _ I _ need you to be at you best. So let’s go to the infirmary.”

“All is well with me, Claude,” Lorenz snapped.

“But Lor-” 

“It’s none of your concern,” Lorenz cut him off. His gaze flicked downcast to his boots. Claude opened his mouth to speak, but Lorenz didn’t wait for him to respond, instead opting to run from the stables as fast as his saddle-sore legs would carry him.

As soon as Lorenz got to his room he slammed the door shut and locked it. Perhaps he was too emotionally drained, perhaps the soreness in his legs was finally catching up to him, or perhaps it was a combination of the two, but whatever the case, Lorenz found that he did not have the energy to make it to his bed. Instead he let his back slide against the door as he sat on the floor. Letting out a heavy sigh, Lorenz let his still balled-up hand rest on his knee and slowly uncurled his fingers. Instead of pure yellow petals there was a flash of red along with them. For a moment, his heart stopped until he realized that the red was not some ugly blood splatter marring them. The red was concentrated at the very edge of the petals, Softy fading into the yellows he had come to associate with his coughing fits. He let his head hang as he let out a sigh of relief.  _ He still had time.  _

He sat there for a while. His head cradled in his hands, yellow and red petals unceremoniously dumped in a heap beside him. He breathed deeply, slowly, and deliberately just to remind himself he could. He didn’t move from that spot until he noticed the moonlight splashed across the floor and decided now was as good a time as any to stand up. He peeled himself from the ground and tried his best to ignore the slight wobble in his legs and his empty stomach. He glanced at the moon through his window.  _ Claude wouldn’t have decided to stay at the stables this long. _ Lorenz quickly decided he would go back to the stable and finish brushing his poor horse down, then sneak off to the kitchen to get a snack. 

He was fully prepared to stumble in the dark with a brush for a while when he came to the stables, but he didn’t need to take his horse out of it’s stall to see that her coat was glossy and shiny. When he did go into the stall to inspect further he took notice of the full feed trough and that her water was replaced. Lorenz absent-mindedly pat the horse as she nudged his hands, looking for treats. Lorenz guessed he had nothing to worry about after all. Except for his own empty stomach of course.

It wasn’t too far of a walk from the stables to the dining hall, but the night air was piercing. He was glad for the jacket he wore. It was a rich green velvet that he didn’t think suited him at all, but it was plenty warm. Still, he wrapped it around himself a little tighter. Stepping into the dining hall he was surprised to see he wasn’t alone. A figure was slumped over a table, asleep. Lorenz stood there frozen for what could’ve been a second or a whole minute before tentatively taking quiet steps towards the person. As soon as he could make out more than a vague outline, his breath hitched, then he opted to hold his breath altogether. Of course.  _ Of course it  _ had _ to be Claude. _

Once again Lorenz found himself holding back a coughing fit. He had gotten quite good at it in these past weeks, or so he thought. The coughing fits had been growing increasingly stronger as of late and they had been getting harder and harder to keep at bay. But Lorenz put all his energy into keeping quiet. Claude hasn’t been getting much sleep lately with him planning war strategies and keeping up with his other duties as the Duke Reigan. He hardly needed Lorenz waking him up. Claude was still dressed like he was when he had visited Lorenz in the stables. Being inside the monastery was warmer than being outside but it was still extremely drafty at night. Claude must be  _ freezing _ . Before he could second guess himself, Lorenz pulled off his jacket and draped it over Claude’s shoulders. A smile tugged at the corner of his lips as Claude let out a soft, contented sigh. Thinking on it, the green color of the jacket would be lovely with Claude’s eyes. The ridiculous thought of having the jacket altered to fit Claude crossed his mind, but a pang in his chest and a soreness in his lungs reminded him of why he was in the dining hall in the first place and how he had to endeavour to leave as quickly as possible. He grabbed some dried fruit and jerky from the kitchens and chanced another glance at Claude. Lorenz could barely make out his outline in the dark but he could still make out the steady rise and fall of his breathing. 

So with his breath a little more strained but his heart a little more full, Lorenz left the dining hall. 

❦

_ Bandits infested the monastery. Teach coming back had truly been a miracle, but what had surprised him more was that all the other deer came back as well for the silly reunion he proposed five years earlier. To bad the reunion had to be on a battlefield. _

_ He had dismounted from his wyvern. He was currently surrounded by bowmen and he didn’t plan on getting shot out of the sky. At the moment he was focused on counterattacking. Claude is the type to be aware of his surroundings, but he still didn’t notice the swordsman rushing up behind him until it was too late. The swordsman's blade was drawn high, ready to cleave Claude’s head from his shoulders. Claude turned around and cursed, he was too close to get a proper shot off with his bow. It would’ve been the end for him if not for the burst of magic that erupted in front of him, killing the bandit. The sound of horse hooves on stone echoed in his mind as he got his first glimpse of Lorenz in five years.  _

_ He had only heard of the vaguest of rumors regarding Lorenz for the past few years. No one had seen hide nor hair of him. The only info he could squeeze out of the count regarding him were outright lies at least and grim at best. All said through thinly veiled insults directed at Claude.  _

_ Claude is slightly ashamed to say his first thought when he saw Lorenz was how  _ beautiful _ he had gotten. Lorenz's tall frame which once had looked gangly and a bit awkward had filled out just a bit so he now held himself and looked like the definition of elegance and grace. His eyes had always been a beautiful color, but where they had once looked at Claude with scrutiny and suspicion, they now looked on with relief. They had a softness to them that made Claude melt. Just a little bit. Not to mention his  _ hair.  _ And his smile. Oh Gods his  _ smile. _ The small, upturned curve of his lip was nearly too much for Claude. Lorenz looked like an angel. (At the time Claude didn’t even know about Lorenz’s growth as a person, but as Claude remembered the first time he saw Lorenz in five years with that knowledge as well, Lorenz kept becoming more and more attractive. Everytime Claude would remember some little detail and fixate on that for a while.) _

_ Suddenly everything in the monastery ruins looked a little rosier. Lorenz jumped off his horse and rushed over to Claude.  _

_ “Are you alright?,” Lorenz asked. His voice sounded distant and Claude strained to hear it. “I was so worried for you, dearest.” Dearest? Claude like that. He liked that a lot. Lorenz put on of his hands on Claude cheek. They drew closer together. Lips drawing nearer and nearer- _

Claude woke up to the sound of a door being slammed open. It was morning and the monastery’s staff was currently opening the dining hall to prepare for the early risers that were sure to be coming to breakfast soon. 

He let out a groggy groan of discomfort as he peeled his cheek from the table.  _ Had I really stayed here all night?  _ It was only then that he noticed the jacket draped over his shoulders. It was heavy and warm and comforting on his shoulders. When he leaned into the collar he caught the faint smokey scent of smoke that clung to mages, the fragrance of some sort of tea, and something...less than distinct. Roses maybe? That in combination with how large the jacket was on him pointed to Lorenz being the one that draped it over his shoulders. Claude cursed. 

After that incident in the stables, he had come to the dining hall to wait for Lorenz, but not before finishing brushing own and feeding Lorenz’s horse. Claude might’ve been less than fond of horses but being on stable duty so often during his academy days had taught him a thing or two about caring for them. Claude knew that Lorenz had likely run off to his room after that. Claude also knew that trying to get Lorenz to let him into said room, much less get him to talk to him would be near impossible. So Claude decided he’d have to wait for Lorenz to come to him. Preferably in a place Lorenz wouldn’t want to cause a scene. Like the dining hall that was filled with all sorts of ears and gossiping mouths and soldiers from Lorenz’s own battalion. Not to mention his fellow golden deer who he was also hiding his less-than-perfect health from.

And Claude fell asleep on the table. He mentally slapped himself again. He missed him in possibly the stupidest way he could miss someone. 

It had been happening for a couple of weeks now. Lorenz hadn’t been interacting with him any more than absolutely, positively necessary. Everytime Claude would step into a room Lorenz would “discreetly” step out. Except nothing about Lorenz was discreet. What made it even more infuriating was that Claude had been seeking out Lorenz, trying to catch him alone so they could talk. Just the two of them. Claude had been wracking his brain, wondering what he could’ve done to make Lorenz upset with him for  _ days _ until he found an answer. And luckily for him, Lorenz wasn’t mad at him. Hopefully. 

When he had finally caught Lorenz in the stables Claude was ready to put his desired personal conversation aside to play the interrogator. Figure out what was wrong. Fix the problem if he could. Apologize if he needed to. But that fell apart almost as soon as Lorenz had opened his mouth. Lorenz’s voice which was usually full of strength and conviction was weak, nervous. Claude’s initial confusion flipped in his stomach and turned to fear as Lorenz started coughing. It had sounded  _ horrible _ . The sound of coughing echoing off the walls in, Lorenz hunched over, clutching his stomach, gasping and struggling to suck in air. And then after all that Lorenz had the gall to insist he was fine. 

Claude drew the collar of the jacket closer to his face and breathed in. If Lorenz wasn’t mad at him before, he was certainly mad at him now. Claude sighed. If you had asked him at the beginning of the moon what Claude wanted to talk to Lorenz about, he would shoot you a wink and tell you it was a secret. But in actuality what he wanted to do is ask Lorenz if he’d let him court him. As much as Claude would love to do something grand and spontaneous, he knew that there was a large chance that Lorenz wouldn’t react in the way that he wanted him to. And as much fun as it is to take Lorenz off guard, Lorenz would like to know of the possibility and sincerity of a romantic gesture before it happened. Claude was all for bending the rules for all they’re worth to suit his purposes, but in this instance he’d follow them to the letter. And he’d hopefully have a good chance at being accepted. 

Too bad he had to scrap those plans in favor of an issue much more urgent. 

Claude stood from the table and walked out of the dining hall. He  _ had _ to catch Lorenz and get him to at least talk to him. There was a seed of a scheme growing in his brain and he couldn’t put it into motion dreaming at a table. 

❦

Lorenz loved the gardens. After being abandoned for five years, everything was overgrown, dead, or both. Lorenz couldn’t take credit for all the work and care that went into restoring them to their former glory, but Lorenz took pride in the fact that he helped with the effort. So he walked through the gardens with a smile, feet guiding him to a gazebo where he tended to take his afternoon tea. 

Most of the time he took it alone. Once in a while he’d have it with the Professor. But this morning he received a note from Hilda requesting if he’d take it with her. He had found her and happily agreed to her request before running off to do some training. Needless to say he had been looking forward to this afternoon.

Lorenz arrived at the table and found it already set. A variety of steaming pastries sat on a tiered tray while an absolutely exquisite withe china tea set with silver details decorated the rest of the table. Even though everything had been prepared there was no sign of Hilda.  _ Maybe she went to go grab something?  _ Lorenz decided that the polite course of action was to wait for her to return before taking any refreshment. So he settled into his seat and waited.

Luckily he wasn’t waiting for long. Unfortunately it wasn’t Hilda who came to meet him.

“Sorry I’m late.” Dread settled into his stomach as Claude sat in the chair across from him. “Rose tea is your favorite, right? Here, let me pour.” The tea cascaded into his cup and were it any other tea time Lorenz would have remarked on the perfect color of it. As it was, he had no desire to partake. He had enough of the taste of roses on his tongue. Lorenz could run. He could dash away and continue to avoid Claude as he has been. He knew that Claude would find another way to talk to him. Lorenz was tired of running. He was tired of roses. He was tried of this stupid hanahaki disease that had been hounding him for nearly a month. So he sat. And he stayed.

Claude cleared his throat. “So Lorenz. You cut our conversation short in the stables. I can only guess that you being sick was the reason you’ve been avoiding me.” Lorenz sat still, head bowed, looking at his hands folded in his lap. He dare not even look at Claude. A few stifling seconds passed. “I’m worried about you.” There was an openness in Claude’s voice that was rarely ever present. Lorenz stiffened at the sound of it. He didn’t think he deserved the concern, much less the kind treatment he was being shown.

Lorenz felt the thorns beginning to press against his lungs. Some part of him wanted to assure Claude. Tell him there was nothing concerning him that needs weighing on his thoughts. He wanted to take Claude’s worry away, but he dare not open his mouth. Another beat of silence passed. Lorenz first heard the soft scrape of a chair then the almost imperceptible sound of Claude’s footsteps before the warm weight of Claude’s hand settled on his shoulder. Lorenz could see Claude kneeling next to his seat through his periphery. 

“Please,” Claude softly begged. “Look at me? I’m not sure what I did to make you so mad at me but-” Lorenz coughed.   
  
And coughed again.   
  
And again.

Again.

Until great coughs made his entire body shudder and quake. One after the other with no hope for reprieve. Something was pushing it’s way up his throat. Lorenz could focus on nothing else besides the overwhelming coughs and the rosebush in his lung. Each cough was painful. Each one pushed the object closer and closer to the open air. Tears pricked the corners of his eyes. 

With one last forceful cough the object was free. 

On the ground next to Lorenz was a fully formed rose. Deep red in color. The edges of the petals heavy and wet. 

Lorenz had always been a fan of the language of flowers. So maybe it wasn’t a surprise when the only thing his brain supplied was:  _ I love you, I still love you. _

Then Lorenz passed out.

  
  


❦

Claude had heard of hanahaki disease. Admittedly in the context of an overly-dramatic romance novel, but he  _ had _ heard of it. 

Lorenz and Claude were currently in the infirmary. Lorenz on a bed, breathing shallow and pained. Claude in a chair next to him, keeping vigil. His leg bounced up and down rapidly with nervous energy. In his hands he held the rose.

When he first saw it when it had pushed it’s way past Lorenz’s lips, he had been horrified. Then extremely worried when he saw exactly what state Lorenz was in. Hilda had to come out of her hiding spot in the bushes and help him carry him up to the infirmary. But now, now Claude was angry. There had been blood on the flower he was holding in his hands and that meant that Lorenz was dying. Claude squeezed the rose. Crushing it in his gloved hand. 

Lorenz was dying not because of some assassin or some powerful enemy on the battlefield, he was dying because he was in love. Somehow that made the fact that Lorenz was dying more painful. Claude squeezed the rose tighter. Whoever was rejecting Lorenz was a fool. He didn’t even know who held Lorenz’s affections but in this moment Claude hated them. Regardless of feeling he needed to find them, or else Lorenz would die.

Lorenz shifted and Claude turned all his attention back to him. He grabbed his hand in what he hoped was as comforting to Lorenz as it was to him. Those lovely lilac eyes fluttered open. 

“Claude?” Lorenz croaked out. Lorenz’s voice was far from sounding it’s best but it almost made Claude cry with how beautiful the sound was to him. 

“I’m here,” Claude assured him. 

“I’m dying.” He didn’t say it with remorse or hesitation. He was simply stating a fact. 

“I know.” Claude tried his best to keep his voice even. “But there’s still a chance for you to live. I we can get the person you have feelings for to admit mutual feelings then you’ll be able to live. Just tell me who it is.”

“I can’t.”

“Yes you can.” He gave Lorenz’s hand a gentle squeeze. 

“I’ve already accepted that this is how it ends for me.”

“But it doesn’t have to be the end!” Tears started to roll down Lorenz’s cheeks and it took Claude a moment to feel the moisture under his own eyes. He was crying too.

“Claude,” Lorenz sobbed. “It’s you. It’s always been you.” Claude’s heart nearly stopped. His eyes grow wide. 

“I- I did this to you?,” Claude manages to get out. Lorenz sat up despite his weakened state and gently held claude face with long, elegant fingers.

“No! I did this to myself. And before you ask, I could not ask you to love me. Not under such cruel conditions!”

“What if,” Claude eyes met Lorenz’s, one of his hand finding Lorenz’s cheek as well. “I already loved you?”

“What?,” Lorenz said after some amount of sputtering. 

“I love you.” He said it with tenderness and conviction. There was no room for lies in his tone. “May I kiss you?” 

Lorenz smiled. “Yes. Yes you may.” 

Their lips met and when Claude’s breath became his own, he could finally breathe again.

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I need more Claurenz in this world


End file.
